@MaryKoCo: If ur late to an appt, just tell them u had another one, but were on time to that one. That way they associate you with punctuality
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@sixthformpoet: The Pope is hardly the first person to lose interest in their real job so soon after joining Twitter.
@hythemafia: When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......
@Jeffwni: [1st date] Me: I've got crabs [date leaves] [back home looking at my fish tank] "It's all right guys, one day I'll find one who'll like you"