@spodermenpls: if ur sad abowt not havin an valentien on valentienz day remembr dat sum ppl do’nt hav an patrik on st patriks day
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@shutupmikeginn: The pigeons behind my apartment are fighting for claim to half a rain soaked hotdog. Fighting me.
@drunkNnaughty: If you have to ask if it's too early to drink...you're an amateur & we can't be friends
@jake_likes_naps: DATING TIP: PULL THE CHAIR OUT FOR HER. PICK THE CHAIR UP & FOLD IT. HIT HER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR. GET THE 3 COUNT. NEW WWE CHAMPION