@everygirI: if ur worried ur not gonna get a New Years Eve kiss just remember that Valentines Day is in 45 days n ur probably gonna b alone for that too
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@ericONEderful: If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work.
@DanMentos: I just had the biggest bowel movement of my life then turned around and the toilet was empty. Needless to say I completely lost my shit
@TheAlexNevil: "If you love the bed so much why don't you marry it?" *imagines beautiful ceremony on the beach, me & Beddy. No one can stop our love now.
@LoveNLunchmeat: "Sorry, but none of my clothes fit today." My date nods, and politely avoids looking at my towel and safety pins.