@Ms_Laser: If Usain Bolt ever becomes a zombie we are all screwed.
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@JohnHilsen: Girl, are you these plates I recently bought from Wal-Mart? Because I just learned that you're not microwave-safe.
@MariyaAlexander: Why don't men ever think to do helpful catcalls like "YO SEXY THE SIDEWALK IS CLOSED AT THE END OF THIS BLOCK - CONSIDER REROUTING, MAMI!"
@MartaEffing: I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again.