@TheDjinnTrials: If used correctly, Twitter can be used as an antidepressant. Just don't take it as a suppository.
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@krisv_723: Fred realized too late that he should have bought a fresh sheet for his toga, when he walked into the black light party.
@AndyAsAdjective: Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce