@meganamram: If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss
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@Sarcasticsapien: Why can't we edit tweets? Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."
@thatcarlygirl: "A car I've never seen before just parked outside. We're gonna die CAN YOU HEAR ME Jesus Christ you're not listening to me I said..." - Dogs
@UncleDuke1969: Me: C'mon. Dog: No. Me: Let's go. Dog: No. Me: Please? Dog: YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!? Me: It's just rain. Dog: I already pooped in your shoe.
@mexinonblonde: *stands up and screams* "PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!" *gets thrown out of Easter service during sermon of the resurrection*