@meganamram: If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ElKnuckelhombre: My kid said he was gonna jump off the roof using a blanket as a parachute and I was like "That won't work you idiot. Go get my umbrella".
@CornOnTheGoblin: "someone broke into your room... and peed on you while you were asleep" me: that's right, officer
@Epygma: Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says "buy me some time" and the guy goes and buys him a clock