@kumailn: If Watergate happened today it would be called Watergategate.
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@HardmanRick: Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my... not that close. I can't breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER
@jonnysun: dont be sad, girl. u are like a iceberg.. 90% of ur beauty is below the surface. now 95%. now 100% OMG GIRL ARE YOU DROWNIMG
@iwearaonesie: *takes glass out of dishwasher* *doesn't know where it goes* *leaves on counter* *wife puts it back in dishwasher* *repeat for last 7 years*
@filthybeggar1: People who put "Retired" on their Linked In acct: I'm not certain you've grasped the site.