@susie_meister: If we eliminated, "Is your car running ok?" from our conversations, my dad and I would never speak.
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@mattZillaaaa: It's almost that time of night where I drunk text my ex "I have to tell you something" then shut my phone off.
@shariv67: Got so wasted last night, had to take a train home. And now I can't figure out how to return it.
@david8hughes: [bday party] Mum: happy birthday son Me: wow that's a huge cake! Mum: its full of bees Me: what Mum [backing away]: I said it's cream cheese