@OhNoSheTwitnt: If we get to have sex with our valentines on Valentine's Day I can't wait until Presidents' Day.
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@AudreyPorne: My neighbour is pissed. My recycle bin has missing for months so I've been using hers. My boyfriend is missing too. Same situation.
@ValeeGrrl: What I say: Get dressed Brush teeth Get in the car What my kids hear: Have a snack Shriek like monkeys Open 3 umbrellas indoors Go poop
@JohnHilsen: "There's no I in TEAM," he yells. "There's no COACH in LOCKER ROOM," I respond. He leaves in stunned silence, and is never seen again.