@dietredbull: If we had gender equality we'd ALL give birth through our ass. And no more Men from Mars & Women from Venus, everyone would be from Uranus.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: HR: The delivery job is yours. Me: Great! HR: Do u have a reliable car? Me: Yes. HR: Model? Me: A little in college. How is that relevant?
@RorynotRoy: "How fast can you hack into the system!?" "20-25 minutes." "You've got 10 minutes!" "Okay, well then I can't." - real life spy dialogues
@trojansauce: [dogs around campfire] *flashlight on face* and when I came back without the ball it was in his hand the whole time
@Reverend_Scott: My favorite oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp. 2. Act natural. 3. Boneless ribs. 4. Civil war. 5. Freezer burn. 6. Adult male. 7. Happy marriage.