@ilovepie84: If we just refer to ISIS as "Nickelback" maybe nobody will want to join them
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@Mr_Kapowski: *Boss approaches desk* "What the fu.." Me, wearing paper clip necklace - "See? I knew you'd be mad so I made you one too"
@KeetPotato: ghosts in movies are stupid if i was a ghost id be in the bahamas but they're just like "lets stay here and move pots and pans"
@JessicaValenti: Whenever I feel discouraged, I remember the words of my then-3 yr old after she puked carrots on the floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots.”
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm torn between having 'wish you were here' or 'look behind you' engraved on my headstone.