@primawesome: If we keep building giant walls at the border to Mexico it's only a matter of time before natural selection gives us giant Mexicans.
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@gerryhallcomedy: Cop: Sir, you can't use hand-held communication devices while driving Me: [trying to hide ouija board] What are you talking about?
@UncleDuke1969: Me: I didn't get the job. Wife: Why not? M: Something about my eyesight. W: What EXACTLY did they say? M: That I needed 'adult supervision'.