@donjuantip: If we start calling it 'potato juice', Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT??
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@XAIMMadellynne: Bro,I seriously locked myself outta my jeep. He was driving a top-less jeep with the windows down.
@huntigula: I take karate classes solely to fight off hobos who mistake my man bun for a delicious cinnamon roll
@skullmandible: most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
@YourAnMoron: It's pretty impressive that Beethoven could play the piano considering he was a St. Bernard.