@RobDenBleyker: If we weren't able to stop Bieber Fever I seriously doubt America can stop an Ebola epidemic.
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@nbadag: [commercial] WOMAN: have u ever wondered what would happen if a car alarm could swim? NARRATOR: geese
@NewDadNotes: Satan: welcome to hell, the WiFi password is- Me: wait you have WiFi? Satan: of course. Me: well that’s not so bad. Satan: as I was saying the WiFi password is Pi.
@thepaulahunt: "Is he going to be my new dad?" - My 20 y. o. son any time I speak to any man for any reason.