@DontTouchMyWine: If we're talking & I start running my nails up & down your arm, I either really like you, or I'm looking for an artery close to the surface.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aidanjsears: INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired
@OtherDanOBrien: ACQUAINTANCE: (crying) Nobody likes me ME: I like you ACQUAINTANCE: (crying harder) Nobody good likes me
@SteveKoehler22: My fortune cookie message read : "You appeal to a small, select group of confused people" .... Uh huh ....
@KKAlThani: Drink coffee. It saves lives. One cup will decrease your chances of murdering someone in the morning.