@DontTouchMyWine: If we're talking & I start running my nails up & down your arm, I either really like you, or I'm looking for an artery close to the surface.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@eedrk: [struts into party on stilts just as everyone starts talking about how they hate stilts. i try to turn around but careen over onto the cake]
@RamblingMachine: My Mother asked me to suggest names for my brother's prospective children. I said I'll name the girl 'Denise' and the boy 'Denephew'.
@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.