@krisv_723: If we've gone swimming together you can be certain that at some point you've swam through my pee
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@LoveNLunchmeat: *gets called a psychopath *googles "What's the average IQ of a psychopath?" AWWW, HE THINKS I'M REALLY SMART.
@RealLucasNeff: [The Bachelor] Some of you will be getting roses tonight... [bee in the back] AW HELL YEAH
@astutenewf: Pretty sure most of the people in coffee shops on lap tops are just writing letters to their parents asking if they can move back home.