@TheTweetOfGod: If what people thought of you, what you thought of yourself and who you really are ever met, the three of you wouldn't recognize each other.
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@Harbinger_one: Just ran 45 minutes on the treadmill and burned 732 calories. Or as many people like to call it, 4 olives.
@lovemydogduck: Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger & I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner.
@desi_princess: Does Target have crack floating through their air vents? Went in to buy milk, came out with a giraffe, 6-pack, someone's kid, and a headache
@philmann: Great. Only a single slice of bread left in the bag. That means until I find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich