@TheTweetOfGod: If what people thought of you, what you thought of yourself and who you really are ever met, the three of you wouldn't recognize each other.
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@TampaBayMomma: My ex left me for an attorney. It makes me smile every day to know he hasn't won an arguement for 15 years.
@Sickayduh: [England 1320] "Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows." *waits 6 months* "K"
@tastefactory: COP:Do u know how fast u were going ME: The posted speed limit, 495 COP: Sir that's the route number, i don't even know how I caught up to u
@Pundamentalism: My girlfriend said she wants a fairy-tale life. So I've trapped her in her gran's bedroom with a wolf.