@MichaelLarrick: If white guys are day drinking, it's inevitable that they're going to start wrestling at some point later that night.
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@JaneBadall: My son just paced back and forth dictating his letter to Santa like a high-powered CEO. Forget Prada, the Devil wears Ironman pyjamas.
@JB4Realz: I've been drinking my urine for years, but NASA still refuses to let me be an astronaut. "There's more to it than that" they say. Whatever.
@LuckoftheDraw86: So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?
@AndyAsAdjective: What they don't tell you about bathing in the blood of your enemies is your body hair is a light magenta for like the next 3 or 4 days. Ugh.