@MichaelLarrick: If white guys are day drinking, it's inevitable that they're going to start wrestling at some point later that night.
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@GypsyWingss: Mom: a little birdie told me you got drunk last night Me: you're the one friggen talking to birds
@onion_an: Therapist: What's the problem? Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me [petting a bee]: You're not strange are you Alan