@threeinchgiant: If Wile E. Coyote really wanted to destroy the Road Runner, he should have just proposed.
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@MikeCanRant: People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements
@Parker_Simpson: On toilet in a stall playin TigerWoods on phone.eagled a par5.Crowd cheered.Pretty sure guy in the next stall thought I just took epic dump
@LindaInDisguise: Went to WalMart today and still had all my kids when I got home. Next week, I'll try harder.
@iAmDelFreaky: Her: OMG! You didn't feed my cat while I was away? Me: Do you remember that time you didn't harvest my crops on FarmVille? Now we're even.