@clarkekant: If women do the splits, do men do the banana splits?
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@CA_Country: My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you'll need a shovel and map to find him.
@donni: It's hard to stay mad at Kanye when you remember he once threatened to move to Oklahoma and live at his aunt's house
@iGreenMonk: I can always tell when someone is lying by tying them down and strapping them to a lie detector.