@clarkekant: If women do the splits, do men do the banana splits?
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@mattZillaaaa: I just sent a screen shot of my drunken tweets to my friends & they are still asking if I can come pick them up
@lovemydogduck: My son's method of Laundry: If it's clean it's on the floor. If it's dirty then it goes on the floor over there.
@BradBroaddus: ME: I want to take long walks with you. HER: Aww...are you a romantic? ME: No, I don't have a car.