@clarkekant: If women do the splits, do men do the banana splits?
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were u on the nite of the 5th?" Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." [leans in] Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.
@Bratterina: *makes eye contact *slowly pulls a banana out my bag *and another one *and another one *and another one *and another one *breaks eye contact *looks in my bag if there's any more banana's. *makes eye contact again *slowly pulls out another banana
@VerifiedDrunk: I'll die fat, drunk & happy while you live healthy until you get run over by a bus... See ya at the cemetery!
@fillthevacuum: Don't get it. Heard the phrase "keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir". Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me.