@ElleOhHell: If Wonder Woman and Spider-Man go into business together, they should call it Amazon Web Services.
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@celticrose2312: I bought shampoo for "badly behaved" hair. So relieved my hair will finally stop robbing banks and terrorising old ladies.
@ClichedOut: [blind date] HER: I love classic rock. ME: (trying to impress) I've been to Stonehenge.
@kelownagoose: Bought 17 a fanny pack for back to school to delay my becoming a grandfather too early.