@JasonIsbell: If y'all are gonna insist on calling those things "hoverboards," I'll be over here flying around with my "jetpack."
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@thegayfarmerguy: Doc: You have gallstones Me: Ugh. Doc: You can control it with diet. Me: Great! Doc: No chocolate, cheese, fried foods... Me: Take it out.
@gobmentcheese: Interviewer: So, tell me a little about yourself. Me: I'm very attracted to you right now.