@Donna_McCoy: If you add enough jalapeños no one will ever know you're a bad cook.
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@TheAlexNevil: I tried to contact Joan Rivers through my ouija board, and a message came back: "If I wasn't already dead, your outfit would've killed me".
@mean_spice: Torturer: I will break you Me: Do you wear that hood to hide your sadness? Torturer: *broken* ah hell man I just wanted to be a chef
@AbbyHasIssues: The cashier told me to have a good New Year like my purchase of oven cleaner and frozen pizza suggests anything else.