@Donna_McCoy: If you add enough jalapeños no one will ever know you're a bad cook.
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@InternetHippo: COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer
@knot_eye: I often wondered what it'd be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.
@Beatonm5: perfume should come with instructions like on medicine: Dab LIGHTLY on pulse points Do NOT marinade in event of overdose take shower