@paulablu22: If you add 'ish' on the end of the time, you're not really late.
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@doktorj: If anyone needs me, I'll be spending the rest of my life under this bathroom light that gives my abs a hint of definition.
@HitsBelowBelt: You know that feeling you get when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat? Ya, that's arrhythmia. You can die from that.
@david8hughes: [cops knock on my door] "Sir?" "Nobody's home." "Who said that then?" "My dog." "Jesus Christ, well do u know when Mr Hughes will be back?"