@SwedishCanary: If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
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@novicefather: This guy just climbed through a thicket of waist-high shrubbery to avoid walking past me. That's the kind of anti-social I aspire to be.
@davidbfunny: Dear waiter, You messed up my order because you didn't write it down. I employed your strategy while calculating the tip. Love, David
@Sassafrantz: Do you, Charles Manson, take this woman who is clearly more insane than you to be your lawful wedded wife?
@lynnbixenspan: I forget, are you supposed to be happy when you see their exes are ugly, or worried that you might be ugly too?