@SwedishCanary: If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
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@omerwahaj: Year 2142: Meat eaters have died out. Vegans survive. 2143: Everyone is dead b/c the vegans couldn't tell anyone else that they were vegan.
@mugkip: i've always struggled spelling out "blood" with my fingers because it always comes out looking like "bbool"
@ruinedpicnic: [buying cucumber and vaseline] me: got an awesome night planned clerk: eugh [later, eating a cucumber and vaseline sandwich] this is awful
@detroit_et: Girl on Facebook Heyy i have not seen u since high school. Me. It's been a while. Her. Yea been married 6 years now : ) Me. Unfriend