@leshnevsky: If you are brave, clever and skillful, go home. You're drunk!
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@ericacanrant: If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a "anything for 5 dollars" ad on Craigslist with your name and number.
@garrettbarry70: A pop up blocker for coworkers who send you an email and immediately show up at your desk to ask if you got their email.
@notacroc: TIM: how are you? ME: it's Monday TIM: yeah ME: the sun is up TIM: are u just listing facts? ME: lettuce is a member of the sunflower family