@JT_IV_: If you are cornered by raccoons in the wild then place your thumb and index finger tips together- make a bandit mask. They will accept you.
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@rickolantern: Luke is so old now he just uses the Force to keep the neighborhood kids off his lawn
@holymolynicole: My ex didn't realize 'cheat day' only meant he could eat whatever FOOD he wanted.
@adamhess1: The girl I just showed off my Fitbit to thought I was really cool until she saw my heart rate increasing with every second she spoke to me
@FatherWithTwins: I asked my 5yo not to do something, and he just smiled maniacally and nodded his head until I gave up. I'm going to try this on my wife.