@jakefromstfarm3: If you are farther than me in candy crush I will automatically think you are smarter than me.
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@shadygrenade: *Pizza Hut job interview* "Do you own a shitty car and smoke pot?" No sir. "You will."
@Vodkantots: I never said that I hated you! All I said is that I hope you have your period when the next Sharknado comes around.
@ericsshadow: THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women.
@NolaChef504: "You take pills because you're crazy" "No MOM, I take pills because they make me tolerant of crazy people that don't take pills"