@wolfpupy: if you are getting the names Jon and John confused call them by their full names, Jonaldo and Johnaldo
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@Inferno_V: 6: Mommy where are you putting your cameltoe this year? Me: 6: I like it Me: It's mistletoe son
@INDlAN_: [describing robbers to sketch artist] Make his ears more lethargic. That’s better, now flare his nostrils like he’s excited about a sale.
@pinapl: When I have more than $20 in my account at the end of the month I have to wonder what bill I forgot to pay.
@usedwigs: Your Google Self-Driving car should be taken away if you don't let your dog sit in the driver's seat while you hold a map riding shotgun.