@ericONEderful: If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work.
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@JennyPentland: I'm teaching my boys to leave the toilet seat up so there's no pee on it when I put it down. Everything is a lie and life is a bad dream.
@SurreySlum: Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
@SCbchbum: I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving.
@AristotlesNZ: Me: Baby-proofed the house like you wanted Wife: Ya? Me: Ya. Locks, fence, barbed wire, the works Her:.. Me: No way a baby's gettin in here.