@poizngrl: If you are looking for a bad girl, I have been known to shop at the art supply store on days they aren't having a sale...
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@BlindChow: [unleashes dog at dog park] me: don't embarrass me now dog: i won't *sees pretty girl* me: hi, i'm– dog: he drinks wine through a straw
@bea_ker: Donald Trump's campaign is basically that thing where you say the wrong answer in Pictionary then just keep saying it louder and louder
@Kyle_Lippert: [Me narrating a documentary on spiders] OH GOD GROSS OH JESUS DISGUSTING THERE'S ONE ON ME RIGHT NOW ISN'T THERE OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD