@kumailn: "I'll be a dentist. Then they'll love me."
"We're terrified of dentists."
"I'll kill a lion!"
"It was a beloved lion with a name."
"Dammit."
@vDzwa: This is why we study Economics. To understand the importance of resource allocation lol😂
@Fred_Delicious: [arrives at the gates of hell]
Satan - "WELCOME MORTAL. DOWN HERE... WE DON'T HAVE LASAGNA"
Me - "um...ok?"
[Satan checks list]
"Is your name Garfield?"
"No"
"Huh. List says Garfield"
@slotjunkierose: Spent 10 mins trying to get into my car today...finally the door opened when the person who actually owned the car unlocked it.
@hrtbps: "How can it be global warming," pondered @realDonaldTrump, "if it's cold outside? Cold is the opposite of warm. Science is hard."
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