@poizngrl: If you are looking for a bad girl, I have been known to shop at the art supply store on days they aren't having a sale...
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@GoldenSpirals: [At Vision Center] Receptionist: Which Doctor would you like to see? Me: I'd like to be able to see all of them. That's why I'm here.
@rickkondell: The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
@shutupmikeginn: I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, 'change color and escape in a cloud of ink'
@weinerdog4life: Blind Date Tip: In the middle of dinner throw a surprise punch to see if they are really blind