@amydillon: I'm going to donate these clothes I don't wear anymore to charity after I drive them around in the trunk of my car for eight months.

@Amusitr0n: [Stonehenge] *Synth bass line* *hooded figure pops out* "Thiiiiis is hooww we Druuuiiid" *other hooded figures pop out* "It's Friday night"

@WildeThingy: Gift horse "My gums are bleeding." Dentist "Well this is a professional dilemma..."

@glenc217: Okay, autocorrect, I get it. Every time I start to type "unattached", you suggest "unattractive". Message received.

@misfarber: Pigeon: the distance a pig travels in one eon