@eliserose5: If you are older than 17 and have mad love for Justin Bieber ,you are the reason whales are the most intelligent species.
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@RoosterMustache: DATE: *gets in car* ME: hi *starts driving* DATE: how's it going? ME: first, gas is sparked in the combustion chamber to push the pistons
@EvanJKessler: If this whole twitter thing doesn't work out, we can all get jobs writing for a company that makes mildly disturbing fortune cookies.
@Nikkeya08: Sorry my diet made me slap the oreo out of your toddler's hand and scream "NOT TODAY SATAN!"