@enigmaterics: If you are on fire, my advice would be to get off fire.
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@vinfury: Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
@ThRealBallsDeep: <at first day of t-ball practice> Me:What's the first rule here, boys? Kid:Don't poop your pants? M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.
@KaysNH: If it was Raining Men I doubt anyone'd say Hallelujah. Pretty sure people'd be screaming things like, "Augh! That guy just killed my mom!"
@crylenol: *Jesus emerges from tomb* Wow was that 3 days? Holy cow. I was marathoning The Wire. You guys seen this?