@ObviousOstrich: If you are reading this you are probably not blind.
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@briancthayer: [exchanging vows] HIM: I'll love you forever. HER: I'll love you until you leave me a voicemail. HIM: Wait, what?! PRIEST: No, that's fair.
@pleatedjeans: me: Hi it is nice to meet u. I am Jeff date: Are u reading off notecards M: Yes sex at ur place sounds gr-wait crap these are out of order
@JervanF: I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..
@ibid78: A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.