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@ObviousOstrich: If you are reading this you are probably not blind.
@crunchenhanced: If i were a hand model, at least i could say that i've banged a model.
@zachreinert03: Saw a TV at the dumpster with a sign that said 'free TV' and boy do I feel stupid, I paid $200 for the last TV sitting at a dumpster
@geekysteven: GOD: That's the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones
ANGEL: Will do
GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises
@llvvzz: Some of my best friends started out as bad choices.
@JustinSayne722: Teacher: Who fought in the Civil War?
Millennial student: Captain America and Iron Man.