@Pork_Chop_Hair: If you are stressed and it’s making me stressed, then your desserts are also my desserts. That’s science. Now be quiet and hand me a spoon.
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@DrDogMD: CAT: Can u check my blood pressure? DR DOG: *places cuff around cat's neck* Sure CAT: Shouldnt that go on m- DR DOG: *inflating cuff* Ssshhh
@wildethingy: The trick is to leave enough details online so that a determined mysterious rich uncle can find you but not enough so random murderers can.
@robdelaney: Those a-hole guys on "Teen Mom" don't think being a dad is "cool." Well check me out #Responsibility never looked so "swag! " lol