@envydatropic: If you arrive home, it's not a holiday, and your driveway is full of family member's cars, keep going.......It's an intervention
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@LostCatDog: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the raccoon" cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease
@WesTheFatKid: "Because Im a goddamned rock star!" wasn't the answer my boss was looking for as to why I was late to work, lesson learned.
@Swishergirl24: I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in -My dog, all day long.
@Thynebear: *walks up to bouncer* "sorry pal, this is a private country club" *peeks inside* [everybody's fist pumping hard as heck to kenny chesney]