@benicus_rex: If you ask a police dog if he's a good boy, legally he has to tell you.
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@DurtMcHurtt: Make new friends by waking up strangers with forehead kisses after they've fallen asleep on the train.
@kumailn: Life hack: Stare into your Uber driver's eyes through the rear view mirror the entire time.
@Zoozich: I just really hate it when people start assuming things.nnnJust like my boss he assumes that I'm working just because I came to work today.
@Smethanie: The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor