@benicus_rex: If you ask a police dog if he's a good boy, legally he has to tell you.
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@whytruy: Obama: joe can you please explain all the cheetos that are in the kitchen Biden: I didn't want Trump to feel- Obama: Joe, Biden: ...lonely
@_making_friends: me: damnit, i forgot to get my bus fare reimbursed this month sally: go see gary in HR, he's pretty flexible [walks in on gary doing yoga]
@tastefactory: My computer keeps giving me an error message saying "The Printer Can't Be Found." Uh buddy it's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HELLO