@just1fool: If you ask me to go get "Eyetalian" food with you, our friendship is probably over.
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@Rica_Bee: Me: now kiddo, what do we say when we accidentally knock someone's drink over? 5y/o: (eyes downcast) "goddamnit"
@ericsshadow: [eulogy] "Before we get started I'd like to ask Jenny, Dawn, Rachel, the deceased's 2 sons and the entire front row to put down your phones"