@DBrownpants: If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. "The hamburgers are good." And, "They don't have hamburgers."
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@TheDjinnTrials: Fun thing to say to your neighbors on the first meeting: I love the way your hair smells when you're sleeping.
@BuckyIsotope: Cookie Monster delivering the eulogy at Bert's funeral. Head bowed low. Stillness. "Me want cookies," he sadly intones. "Me want cookies."
@Mwass_: So I had self diagnosed back problems and went to check out orthopedic mattresses. I would like to testify that the price tag healed me.
@T_Bonezzz_: [ First Date ] Her: OMG, I've been talking about myself all night. Tell me a little bit about yourself.. Me: HODOR...