@sumpeoplelikeit: If you ask me where your glasses are, and they're on your head, I will help you look for them forever.
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@rickolantern: [making yellowjackets] Angel: These things don't really do anything other than sting people God: We're running out of college mascots
@slimmy_shady: At Walmart checkout other day:Cashier: "you have a dog?" Scanning dog food.Hubz: No, our kid needs the protein.
@Try2StopME: She: You have a girlfriend? He: No. I had one, though. She: Where did she go? He: She #Ransomware
@ProudFFAalumni: My son's taking French and my daughter is learning sign language and now I have no idea what anyone's talking about anymore.