@sumpeoplelikeit: If you ask me where your glasses are, and they're on your head, I will help you look for them forever.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Home_Halfway: MUGGER: *exasperated* Look dude. I'm NOT mad at you. I JUST want your money and your watch. That's it. We're totally okay, I promise. ME: *wiping snot from my nose* ...okay, do you promise you aren't mad though
@PaperWash: me: you wanna hot line bling? date: what? me: *sweating nervously* Netflix and chill? date: excuse me me: *looking at notecards* BAE?!
@PinkCamoTO: If you think Lord of the Flies couldn't happen, you've clearly never seen a group of 7 year olds go after a piñata.
@bluntphilip: Adding the word "farmhouse" to a table or piece of furniture allows you to charge $1000 for it.