@weinerdog4life: If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache.
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@Contwixt: Don't act like you've never used a pair of binoculars to try to peer through another pair of binoculars.
@hippieswordfish: CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them
@DanDoofus: Everyone complains about the weather but no one ever wants to sacrifice a virgin about it.