@weinerdog4life: If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache.
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@Jen_Up_: I just said, "who the hell is calling here at 9 o'clock at night?" and I died a little on the inside.
@QwertyJones3: "Honey, it's not that I don't like your cooking, it's just that the smoke's about to asphyxiat our family." "WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY ASS??"
@robdelaney: Pretty cool that the letters "B.J." stand for the two greatest things in the world: beef jerky & Billy Joel.