@weinerdog4life: If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache.
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@faizziy: There are days & nights where I'm surrounded by profound Darkness, followed by a realisation that I need to stop wearing shades in my house.
@earfdae: She said she wanted to bump uglies. So, naturally, I got all showered & freshened up and then I rammed my Ford Pinto into her Honda Element.
@DaddyJew: Judging by this line at Costco it doesn't look like I'll ever see my family again. Sweet.