@kelkulus: If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms.
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@BrownBoxers: No cop can catch a kid on a 10 speed. -every 80s movie with cops chasing kids on 10 speeds.
@JohnFugelsang: If god didn't like sex, He wouldn't make us scream His name when it's really hot.
@eddiesteadyno: Thank you for clarifying that you'd bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with.
@VerifiedDrunk: Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. .