@kelkulus: If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms.
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@QwertyJones3: If you're in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
@AmishPornStar1: You know that chick who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"... Yeah, well I ate her.
@DirtMcTurd: My favorite part of the date is when I tell her that I want her to have my kids. And then I give them to her, all 3 of them.