@kelkulus: If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms.
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@callie_cakes: Ex: Holy skinny jeans! Me: They are new. Like them? Ex: Sure... Me: What? Ex: Should a woman your age wear those? Divorce Reason 509
@CoopSoSarc: I was feeling great about myself when I saw my number on the womens bathroom wall 'for a good time'. Then I recognized my hand writing.
@trevso_electric: One day we will look back at the criminalization of marijuana and laugh because we will be so high.