@1BigMick: If you believe the home alarm commercials, the first thing burglars do when they break into your home is smash your family pictures.
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@Try2StopME: Student: "May I go to the toilet?" Teacher: "What for?" Student: "To open the Chamber of Secrets"
@aka_fatman: *Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* "My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"
@squirrel74wkgn: No one talks to you on the bus when you're shaking a box of Milk Duds that your head phones are plugged into.