@__candypants: If you break up and get back together more than twice, I will not listen or care about your relationship problems you idiot.
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@MooseAllain: "Help! I can't get my jogging trousers off!" "We'll have to perform an emergency trackybottomy"
@hippieswordfish: CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them
@GuyThe_Guy: I'm starting to think the guy that gave me directions to the train station was just talking to someone on his Bluetooth.