@Rollinintheseat: If you bring back your paper bags at Whole Foods, they'll give a refund of 5 cents. After a year you'll have enough money to buy an orange.
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@joeljeffrey: Double standard - bear breaks into girl's house, bear gets shot. Girl breaks into bear's house, we write a children's story about it.
@ThisLocalHater: I am in my truest form when the food comes at a restaurant and I side-eye plates, suspicious that everyone got more fries than I did.
@kwirkyKerri: I'm just going to cut out the middle man and start cashing my paychecks at the liquor store.