@zgbetty: If you can fit all your liquor in a cabinet I question your commitment to alcohol.
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@causticbob: Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
@LaLuchaNix: Son: Mom, can I sleep with you? I'm scared. Me: No, I can't risk the monster following you into my room and killing me.
@JohnLyonTweets: *watches Beauty and the Beast* *looks at dirty dishes in sink* WASH YOURSELVES AND SING TO ME!