@slimmy_shady: If you can read this, you're standing too close to my iPhone!
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@mexinonblonde: Him-You have the most beautiful lips. Me-Wait...how do you know what my..... Ohhhhh, you mean the lips in my Avi! Yes, I know. Thank you.
@krissywillbretz: Searched my teens room for drugs, was told "you don't give me enough money for drugs." I don't know whether to be proud or up his allowance.