@o__0Dev: If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you're the worst employee at a toy factory.
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@PaperWash: Can you imagine getting the girl of dream's phone number and her first text to you she spells it "defantely"
@iamfase: The greatest trick Facebook ever pulled was to convince the world we actually want to keep in touch with people we went to school with.
@DumbConfessions: Psychologist: Go to your happy place. Me: *grabs car keys* Psychologist: Where are you going? Me: The liquor store.