@BackrowSeats: If you can't be with the one you love then be with the one who has the best cable package.
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@turtledumplin: My oldest son & his gf were cooking & asked me how many 1/4 cups are in 1 cup .... Gonna write a nasty letter 2 college & ask for a refund
@david8hughes: [meeting aboard the ISS space station] Capt: all personnel are-David sit down please Me trying to open a window cos it's stuffy: in a minute
@rzarosco: Ask a girl if she wants to dance. If she says yes then start shooting at her feet. Congratulations you are now Yosemite Sam