@BackrowSeats: If you can't be with the one you love then be with the one who has the best cable package.
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@TheToddWilliams: ME: Is it true you can smell diseases? MY DOG: Yes ME: Well do I have any? MY DOG: Yes, you're insane ME: Wow you can smell that? MY DOG: No
@loribuckmajor: Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes.
@LizHackett: I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head.
@Brampersandon_: ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung