@SerenityRising: "If you can't handle me at my diddliest, you don't deserve me at my doodliest." -Ned Flanders
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@RobDenBleyker: If you commit a crime be sure to wear running clothes, so if you need to flee the scene cops will just think "Look at that healthy jogger"
@Jarhead44: If you're not following me and received this tweet, it's because someone is smarter than you.
@blind_phineas: I bet the best part of Jay Z's life was the brief period before he was married when he could say, "This is my fiancé, Beyoncé"...
@buttnight: migraine |my-grain| noun 1 a recurrent severe headache 2 what a farmer shouts in disbelief after a terrible storm destroys his wheat field